Cruz wants to make it clear that while Falling In Love Is Not That Hard focuses on relationships, “...it’s really about anxiety, and the narrative that we tell ourselves in relationship to other people.” He tells me that the man pouring out his soul in many of the songs off of Falling In Love Is Not That Hard is not the same Reno Cruz that I’m interviewing through video chat, but instead represents a different version of himself. “It’s the version of me that I was in January of 2019. Fucking heartbroken, lying on the floor and thinking, ‘Oh God, what is this!?’” He mentions how contradictory his emotions were at this moment of his life; although he was depressed from trying to recover from a breakup, he was also excited to be living in a new city, taking on the music industry and making cool and talented friends with each passing day.
Cruz shares with me that the word he came across which helped him to conceptualize these feelings was ‘ambivalence’ – meaning two strong opposing emotions being felt at the same time. “That’s not my experience with any particular relationship, that’s my experience of life,” he says.
“Life is not simple; relationships are not simple. We live in an extremely complex, ever-changing world that brings up all kinds of feelings all the time. When it comes to feeling isolation and togetherness at the same time … You can feel that way in a romantic relationship, you can feel that way when you’re out at the bar with your friends, and you can feel intensely connected to people when you’re all alone in your bedroom.”
Before leaving his home in California to pursue acting and songwriting, Cruz had already worked many odd jobs. This includes stints as a jewelry salesman, banjo boy, and even a cheesemonger (which he still does to this day). “I’ve had a weird life, and I’ve certainly sought that out,” Cruz informs me. “But when you seek something out enough, it also finds its way to you. Mostly I’ve just been saying ‘yes’ to whatever I have been offered … I’ve said yes to a lot of weird shit, and it’s definitely enriched my life.”
Because Cruz has had to operate in a lot of different contexts, he feels conviction in his ability to relate and empathize with a broad array of humans across the world. “I’ve been in acting, but I would also consider many of my experiences in customer service as acting, as well. It’s an emotional labour, if you have to speak to someone who is being rude and unreasonable to you. And it’s a skill that I don’t believe people who haven’t worked in that field often think about.”
Reflecting on these experiences, Cruz explains how this kind of emotional labour has impacted his life as a songwriter as well. “In the song ‘Everybody,’ I sing about how ‘everybody wants to be my baby,’ and ‘everybody needs a piece of me.’ In many ways, it’s about me feeling like I’m doing customer service in my regular life.”